I’m a DJ that enjoys getting requests from the guests at a party and will do everything I can to accommodate those requests. That said, there are some things you should know before approaching a DJ that will help get your song played at some point during the party. Here are a few suggestions:
Get Your Request in Early – The earlier in the night you ask the DJ for a song the better of a chance you’ll hear it. Programming is very much like putting a puzzle together. DJs take all the pieces (requests) from their clients, add to that the pieces (songs) that we figure will work with each crowd, and then the final part of that mix are the guests’ request. As we put the puzzle together throughout the night, knowing all the songs we need to fit in earlier helps. That’s why we meet with our clients in advance and get their specifics. So the sooner in the evening you submit your request, the easier it’ll be for the DJ to work it in.
Be Patient – Once you’ve asked for a song, be patient. Know that the DJ will do his or her best to get to your song but it might take a while.
Don’t Say “Play It Next” – Piggybacking off of “be patient,” never add “play it next” to your request. You have no idea all the machinations that go into selecting the next song and odds are whatever you asked for won’t fit into what’s currently being played. So your request most likely won’t be next. And asking for it to be next, or demanding it be next as some guests do, will probably only make your request less likely to be played (because it’s kinda rude.)
Don’t Say “We’re Leaving Soon.” – Some guests will ask for a song, and then, as a way of getting it played right away, add, “we’re leaving soon.” Of all the factors that go in to when I’m going to play a song, the fact that you have to leave the party early is way down near the bottom. If you don’t plan on staying through the whole party, I refer you back to my very first suggestion.
Make It Recognizable and Danceable – Besides cocktail hour and dinner, DJs have a specific goal: to get people dancing. And most people prefer to dance to songs they recognize. So asking for a song that isn’t a good dance song, or is something so obscure most people wouldn’t know it, is not a great way to get your request played.
Be Specific – If you have a favorite song or artist you’d like to hear, let the DJ know. But making broad or overly general requests like “Play some disco” or “How about something from the 80s” is way too vague. Chances are what the DJs thinks is good disco might not be what you think is good disco so now we’re back to square one.
Don’t Say “Play Something We Can Dance To” – Along the lines of be specific, never tell a DJ to “play something we can dance to.” Whether the dance floor is packed or not, trust me, our goal is to play something that people will dance to. So you’re just asking us to do our job. It would be like walking into a restaurant and asking for food, or bellying up to a bar and asking for alcohol.
Don’t Say “It’s the Bride’s Favorite Song” – We spend a lot of time in the planning process finding out what our clients’ favorite songs and artists are. So when you make a request you don’t need to add “it’s the bride’s (or groom’s) favorite song.” If it truly is, then we know that already and are probably saving it for a special moment in the celebration. But if it’s not something the guest of honor put on their request list then it probably isn’t their favorite song – in which case that can be interpreted as you telling a little white lie just to get your song played (not a felony but certainly a misdemeanor in the world of requesting songs).
Respect the Do Not Play List – Most DJs will have offered their client an opportunity to create a “Do Not Play List.” These are songs or artists (or sometimes whole genres) that the guest(s) of honor would prefer not to hear (for whatever reason). If you ask for a song (or artist or genre) that is on the Do Not Play List you’re not going to hear it. Sorry. It’s their party. And they are the ones paying me. And if the DJ tells you that, if they say, “Hey sorry, I’d love to play ‘Shake It Off’ but our bride and groom asked for no Taylor Swift” don’t go to the happy couple and ask them the change their minds. That’s just selfish on your part and will cause them to have to make a decision in the heat of the moment that they really shouldn’t have to deal with.
Use Your Phone – I know some DJs don’t like having a phone shoved in their face as a way of making requests but I happen to not mind it. I mean, not the shoving-the-phone-in-my-face part, but being able to see exactly what song you want. First of all, parties are loud, and sometimes it’s difficult for a DJ to hear your request. And seeing exactly what song you’d like also avoids confusion, like the time I played Nat King Cole’s “Unforgettable” but the guest wanted the French Montana song of the same name. So showing your phone (not shoving it in the DJ’s face) can be an effective way of getting your request in.
Relax and Enjoy the Night – When I go to a concert, I often have one song that I “have to hear.” I went to see Billy Joel recently and “Scenes From an Italian Restaurant” was that song. As it got late in the concert I found myself having a little anxiety that I wouldn’t hear it (he finally did play it) and I scolded myself for not fully enjoying the show as I waited for my song. Don’t make the same mistake at a party. If you ask for a song, trust in the DJ that he or she will do their best to get to it. But whether they do or don’t, you shouldn’t let it damper or ruin your night. Dance. Sing. Celebrate. It’s a party after all! And if and when your song gets played, you can take it up a notch knowing this was your request. And if it doesn’t who knows, maybe you’ll discover a new favorite dance song that you can ask for at the next party you attend.
